Forming Kindred Bonds: The Strength of Connection

Michael Hiley

Your people are out there. The ones who really get you—who see both your shadows and your light and stick around anyway.

Connection is what we're wired for as humans. Not the shallow stuff filling up our social feeds, but the deep bonds. The ones that remind us we're not actually alone in our struggles or our dreams or our weird little obsessions that most people just don't understand.

Lost hand reaching out of a mirror to find connection

The Art of Meaningful Connection

I created illustrations for this piece that shows a hand reaching out of a mirror, reaching for connection to the universe... toward connection. Had to. Because that essential human yearning to be known and understood by others just keeps showing up in everything I make—this reaching toward something beyond ourselves.

Life moves in cycles, not straight lines

You can see how the forms suggest movement toward rather than away, yeah? That's what genuine connection requires—moving toward each other, reaching across the gap between our separate experiences. Sometimes awkwardly. Sometimes beautifully. Always with a bit of courage. Life moves in cycles, not straight lines.

Beyond Survival to Thriving

These connections aren't optional extras—they're absolutely essential. The research is crystal clear on this: meaningful relationships predict happiness and longevity better than wealth, fame, or achievement. Better than almost anything else we chase after.

But real connection demands something that's getting rarer by the day: presence. Putting down the phone. Listening without mentally rehearsing what you'll say next. Showing up as your actual self instead of some polished version you think others expect.

That hand reaching from the mirror in the illustration? It's there to remind us of a simple truth: you've got to connect authentically with yourself before you can truly connect with anyone else. No way around it.

 

Four Ways to Cultivate Deeper Bonds

Meaningful connection grows through:

  1. Genuine curiosity about others — Ask questions that invite depth; forget the small talk
  2. Vulnerability and authenticity — Find the courage to be seen in both strength and struggle
  3. Creating space for people to be seen — Give the gift of your full attention; it's becoming rare
  4. Consistency in small ways — Show up reliably over time and watch how trust deepens

Nurturing Your Kindred Connections

There's this beautiful paradox with vulnerability—the very thing we fear might push others away is actually what creates our deepest bonds. It's backwards from what we expect.

So who are your kindred spirits? Those people who leave you feeling energised rather than drained? The ones who push you to grow while accepting exactly who you are right now?

Today, reach out to someone who matters—not with some quick text, but with your full attention. Ask something genuine. Share something real. Create just one moment of connection in this increasingly fragmented world.

In a culture that celebrates independence above nearly everything else, remember this: we heal in connection. We grow in connection. We find meaning in connection with others. Always have. Always will.

Lost Geometry Peace signs. Michael Hiley
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